FIVE MAGAZINE

 

 

When I work out and want to stop, I don't. Not because I'm physically tough or have the strongest will but because I don't want to let my body down. There is no greater motivation in my mind than the realization of what my body can do and the fact that I have such an abled body. Now it might seem conceited to say that I worship at the temple of my own anatomy but different from Narcissus, I choose to give thanks. Thanks in the form of good food, water, rest and exercise. 

It's important to know however, that this way of thinking isn't something that I've been raised with but had to learn on my own. Many late nights looking for fitspo or reading blogs on the definition of beauty have opened my eyes to what it really means to be human. It's also come from a realization that many others aren't as lucky as I am to have healthy limbs and a functioning body. 

Seeing those with a lot less than myself do a whole lot more is what motivates me. Nick Vujicic, a man born without limbs, Bethany Hamilton who lost her arm to a shark and Nick Santanastasso, a man born with only one arm. These real people have proven what it means to be appreciative of the body that you get. These people live life to the fullest without certain limbs and make the most of  their situations which reminds me to be appreciative. Their drive is the motivation I need when I feel any sort of doubt about my appearance or ability to do something. 

Granted I am a living breathing woman who does notice the list of sexiest ladies (aka Sophia Vergara) none of whom look like me. This can creep into my mind as a reminder of all the things that I am not. I might have dimples in some areas that I'd rather not and want legs that were a little longer perhaps. However these are not imperfections as much as they are individualistic qualities I'd acquired from my parents. 

There were times when I'd thought less of myself because I thought my knees were too fat (who even pays attention to knees?) or that my hips weren't proportional to my bust. Now I see my asymmetrical ear lobes as being representative of my genetic makeup rather than a strange deformity. When people tell me I don't look like my mother, I know that I have her lips and eyebrows. My grandmother's prominent cheekbones, my grandfather's curls all gifted in my mind like the Sleeping Beauty was by her fairy godmother's. Little bits of my family members stand out when I look at myself and while that might seem sentimental, it's like I've always got a piece of them with me wherever I go. 

I've chosen the positive route when it comes to personal body image which in turn has made me see the beauty in others as well. I no longer hold on to the judgment of others and am not as quick to judge those I do not know. By letting go of negative thoughts, I've managed to

push myself to accomplish goals I never had such as kayaking 21 kilometers or flashing New York from a rooftop in the West Village. My body parts are individual and serve a greater purpose than I'd imagined. Through these achievements I'm more in tune with myself now and want to provide my being with the best care in order to have a happy life. 

So now when I run, I can run longer and faster because I choose to run for those who can't.